China was the place where I found my place in life in a sense that transcends geography, job description, and the great Now that dominates our compulsions and bombards our senses with a relentless, cluttered commotion and white noise. Nouwen once said that we live in a wordy world, a place where words are so abundant that they lose their power if not born out of some measure of personal silence and solitude. Silence, he says, teaches us how to speak in a world dominated by words. And not only that, silence also teaches us how to embody that which we speak. I am a listener and a writer. I don't talk like I write. I internalize and chew on words until I am able to articulate the picture in my mind. I've never been much of a talker, and my observation is that today I think we have too many people who want to proclaim truth with borrowed words and borrowed substance. Ancient forms of contemplation and prayer are too often viewed as a waste of time in our "you-are-what-you-produce" society.
China taught me how to sit still and listen to a divine voice and rhythm that resides underneath all the commotion. I think we all sense it from time to time whispering, "There's more to see than what you see" or perhaps "there's more to these words than the cliche they have become." So we search for new words in an effort to capture and partake of a deeper reality.
In some mysterious way I think this greater seeing is intricately tied to self introspection. The capacity for freedom from an existence numbed by society's superficial white noise will not be granted without the relentless eyes of honesty. Maybe at this point I discover my own unique design and learn to inhabit it, and as I do I also discover God's true face and learn to embody it as well. I have a long way to go, but I am on the path. Sometimes I run, sometimes I stroll, and sometimes I just sits.
And now for a story from China:
http://anns-muse.blogspot.com/2009/12/countdown-begins.html
2 comments:
Ann, that China post was so moving. I tend to barricade myself from people around me, so I needed to hear that word! :) Miss you!
You are such a deep and articulate thinker. How I would like to tap into your mind more often. Somehow, I rest assured, I would glean much of God's wisdom from you.
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