Slow Thyself Down

This is my second attempt to tell this story. The first attempt had too much....hmmmm....too much venom. I posted it for about five minutes, felt guilty, and then decided to delete it.

I confess I have a hard time slowing down sometimes, especially this last week. I pulled off a mega surprise party for my man's 33rd birthday. He was totally surprised, even though he arrived in a bad mood. This was quickly thwarted by a living room full of friends yelling, "Surprise!"

The next evening we got in a fight. That happens around here sometimes, though I rarely feel the need to document such things. We don't exactly photograph our fights and post them on facebook. I was so ticked off with my darling precious husband that I had to leave the house (because after all we did have company staying with us for the night and I didn't want to be responsible for corrupting our classmate). I went for a walk, cooled off, and wrote some really nasty comments in my journal. I digress.

I came back home. I apologized. Bruce apologized. Harmony resumed. Then I spent the next seven hours at the foot of the porcelain throne. That's right. Apparently, upon further investigation (which is code for facebook stalking) several other people at Bruce's party also contracted this beloved stomach flu as well. I haven't had the flu in years. Absolute misery. I even pleaded with God, "Please. If you make this stop, I'll never do such-and-such again. I can't throw up one more time. There's nothing left to vomit."

I was wrong. There was plenty left.

I started getting better just in time for Bruce to get sick. And now we are experiencing the art of "slow thyself down" whether we want to or not.

Needless to say, we are both recovering and are almost back on track. Just in time for finals. We have watched most of the first season of The Big Bang Theory (laughing proved painful), and we are both completely caught up on Lost (I have no fingernails left).

Dictionary.com, I Need You!

Dictionary.com is perhaps my best friend online when I'm studying. We converse often. Sometimes I know what a word means, but I look up it anyway just to be sure. Sometimes I don't know what a word means (i.e. latitudinarianism), and I then fantasize about the appropriate wood shed and torture devices for the inventors of these obnoxious words.

One time I was playing pictionary and yes, I confess that upon reading the word "splice" I mistakenly drew "slice" (it was a very artistic interpretation). And by some fluke my team guessed it and continued to advance.

Another time I had to draw a beaver and it looked like this:



I thought the teeth would be a dead give-away. I explicitly warned my team before I started drawing, "Be fast, people. This one's going to be easy!" The tree in the corner was strictly bonus, but to no avail. Everyone thought it was Satan....in the form of a cat.

I guess my next entry over at dictionary.com should be beaver followed by satan. Apparently I don't know what either of these two words mean.

Someone

Someone's popcorn exploded all over the coffee table.



I told Someone to clean it up. And yes. Someone is using the vacuum to suck up all the popcorn in the living room.

Ever see the sitcom The Big Bang Theory? Sometimes I think I married Sheldon. This is one of those times.

Meet Moses a.k.a. Ninja Cat

Don't mess with Moses. He will take you down.


Don't let this sweet photo fool you. Moses is never at peace, never fully relaxed. Ever. That's why we call him Ninja Cat.


I seduced Ninja Cat into my arms with cat treats. He was not happy (but I was).


Miles is our black cat, who was my birthday present about four years ago. Moses joined us after we moved to Vancouver. I've always been a dog person. I swore I'd never own a cat. However, I changed my mind several years ago when it became apparent that we couldn't own a dog at the duplex we rented at the time, and since we have no kids, I think I just wanted something to smother. My birthay is on Halloween (consequently making it my favorite holiday), and I decided a black cat was fitting. Bruce agreed to get me a cat on the condition that if said cat ever stratched his speakers, cat would suffer. Big time. I love it that I don't have to take them for a walk everyday, and they are rarely needy (the cats, not Bruce). And they hunt each other, and this makes me laugh quite a bit. Nothing like watching a movie and seeing Ninja Cat fly over the coffee table in a single, silent leap and scare the unaware Miles half to death.